Ten Stupid Things Couples Do
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"Ten Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Harper Collins, 2001 (ISBN=0-06-051260-1)
| Stupid Thing | Definition |
|---|---|
| A1 - Stupid Secrets | Withholding important information for fear of rejection. |
| A2 - Stupid Egotism | Asking not what you can do for the relationship but only what the relationship can do for you. |
| A2 - Stupid Egotism | "My freedom/rights to do what I want are more important than your feelings/needs". |
| A3 - Stupid Pettiness | Making a big deal out of the small stuff. |
| A4 - Stupid Power | Always trying to be in control. |
| A4 - Stupid Power | Never lose an argument, or sacrifice anything. |
| A4 - Stupid Power | Never let the other forget he or she hurt you or messed up. |
| A5 - Stupid Priorities | Consuming all your time and energies with work, hobbies, errands, and chores instead of focusing on your relationship. |
| A5 - Stupid Priorities | An unkempt bed has a higher priority than the relationship. |
| Stupid Thing | Definition |
|---|---|
| A6 - Stupid Happiness | Seeking stimulation and assurance from all the wrong places to satisfy the immature need to feel good vs to be good. |
| A7 - Stupid Excuses | Not being accountable for bad behavior. |
| A7 - Stupid Excuses | Instead of acknowledging misdeeds and being accountable and responsible, you fight back with excuses which just cause more damage. |
| A7 - Stupid Excuses | Learn to apologize! |
| A8 - Stupid Liaisons | Not letting go of negative attachments to friends and relatives who are damaging to your relationship. |
| A8 - Stupid Liaisons | Staying attached to relatives and friends who are outright bad influences and destructive to your self or your relationship - allowing these folks to hurt your partner. |
| A9 - Stupid Mismatch | Not knowing when to leave and cut your losses. |
| A9 - Stupid Mismatch | Seeing the red flags clearly and yet you stay around trying to put a square peg in a round hole. |
| A10 - Stupid Breakups | Disconnecting for all the wrong reasons. |
"Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Cliff Street Books
| Stupid Thing | Definition |
|---|---|
| B1 - Stupid Chivalry | By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature etc.), you think your love will save/transform her. |
| B2 - Stupid Independence | Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex. |
| B3 - Stupid Ambition | Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherant importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power and status. |
| B4 - Stupid Strength | Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive- aggressiveness to regain control. |
| B5 - Stupid Sex | Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms. |
| Stupid Thing | Definition |
|---|---|
| B6 - Stupid Matrimony | Lacking an understanding of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late that you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to fix it. |
| B7 - Stupid Husbanding | Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you are single and that your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else. |
| B8 - Stupid Parenting | Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the "soul food" of a child's hug. |
| B9 - Stupid Boyishness | Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy. |
| B10 - Stupid Machismo | Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man. |
Reference: http://www.helpformen.com/articles/article-15.html
"Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" by Laura C. Schlessinger
Harper Collins, 1994 (ISBN=0-06-097649-7)
| Stupid Thing | Definition |
|---|---|
| C1 - Stupid Attachment | Is a Woman Just a Wo Wo Wo a Man? |
| C1 - Stupid Attachment | You typically look to the context of a man to find and define yourself. |
| C2 - Stupid Courtship | "I Finally Found Someone I Could Attach To" and Other Stupid Ideas About Dating. |
| C2 - Stupid Courtship | Desperate to have a man, you become a beggar, not a chooser, in the dating ritual. |
| C3 - Stupid Devotion | "But I Love Him" and More Stupid Romantic Stuff. |
| C3 - Stupid Devotion | You find yourself driven to love and suffer and succor (or do you spell that "sucker"?) in vain. |
| C4 - Stupid Passion | "Ohhh, Ahhh, We're Breathing Hard .... It Must Mean Love". |
| C4 - Stupid Passion | You have sex too soon, too romantically, and set yourself up to be burned. |
| C5 - Stupid Cohabitation | The Ultimate Female Self-Delusion. |
| C5 - Stupid Cohabitation | So stop lying to yourself! You're not living with him because you love him. You're living with him because you hope he'll want you! |
| Stupid Thing | Definition |
|---|---|
| C6 - Stupid Expectations | First You Commit to Him, Then You Hate Him!? |
| C6 - Stupid Expectations | Using marriage as a quick fix for low or no self-esteem. |
| C7 - Stupid Conception | Making Babies for the Worst Reasons. |
| C7 - Stupid Conception | Misguidedly, you use biology as a jump start for love, personal growth, and commitment. |
| C8 - Stupid Subjugation | Letting Him Hurt Your Babies. |
| C8 - Stupid Subjugation | You and your children are held hostage to your own obsessive need for security and attachment. |
| C9 - Stupid Helplessness | "Oh, I Always Whine and Whimper When I'm Angry." |
| C9 - Stupid Helplessness | Too scared and insecure to deal with your rage, you turn it into wimpishness. |
| C10 - Stupid Forgiving | "I Know He's Adulterous, Addicted, Controlling, Insensitive, and Violent ... But Other Than That ...." |
| C10 - Stupid Forgiving | You don't know when to break off a no-win relationship, or how not to get involved in the first place. |
Reference: http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0060976497/ref=sib_dp_pop_bc/178-4001019-6962200?ie=UTF8&p=S078#reader-link
"Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids: Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them"
by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger
Harper Collins, 2000 (ISBN=0-06-093379-8)
| Stupid Thing | Definition |
|---|---|
| D1 - Stupid Neglect | Staying away from home - either at work or play - leads to the death of the family. |
| D2 - Stupid Day Care | Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them! |
| D2 - Stupid Day Care | Don't think that a nanny will be an acceptable replacement for you. |
| D2 - Stupid Day Care | "The cavalier manner in which our society treats child care, not as a matter of intimacy and love, but as a matter of convenience and economics, is deeply destructive to our children's sense of attachment, identity, and importance." |
| D3 - Stupid Single-Hood | Dads Need Not Apply. |
| D3 - Stupid Single-Hood | Robbing a child of a father may be more acceptable to society, but it's NOT acceptable to children, nor is it in their best interest. |
| D3 - Stupid Single-Hood | "Single motherhood may be more acceptable to society, but it is not acceptable to children; nor is it in their best interest." |
| D4 - Stupid Reproduction | Brave New Baby. |
| D4 - Stupid Reproduction | Deciding to create a life by any means fails to take into consideration what is in the best interest of that new human being. |
| D4 - Stupid Reproduction | "In our society, reproductive freedom means anyone can decide to create a life by any means with no, and I mean no, consideration of what is in the best interest of that new human being." |
| Stupid Thing | Definition |
|---|---|
| D5 - Stupid Restraint | Spare the Rod. |
| D5 - Stupid Restraint | Holding back on discipline will turn your kids into adults with temper tantrums, defiance, rage, anxiety, poor school and work adjustment, drug and alcohol abuse, and criminality. |
| D5 - Stupid Restraint | "Children without discipline often become adults with temper tantrums, defiance, rage, depression, anxiety, poor school and work adjustment, drug and alcohol abuse." |
| D6 - Stupid Indulgence | Give Them What They Want. |
| D6 - Stupid Indulgence | Giving your kids whatever they want pushes them to become morally and philosophically aimless, as well as behaviorally and emotionally out of control. |
| D7 - Stupid Distractions | Child-Free Parenting. |
| D7 - Stupid Distractions | Parents need to learn to become a part of their child's life. |
| D7 - Stupid Distractions | With work and play, it's not only YOU who is missing out on your kids - your KIDS are missing out on their parents. |
Reference: http://books.google.com/books?id=z1gBAPD4j_wC&dq=ten+stupid+things+parents+do
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