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amackliff0888's version from 2016-09-01 02:22

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Active listeners encourage the speaker with nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions, gestures, and verbalizations. check for understanding by asking questions such as "What did you mean . . . " or "Could you tell me more?" They also restate in their own words what the speaker said. "reflect back" the speaker's feelings, saying things like "It sounds like you're really upset." Only when feelings are acknowledged will the speaker feel heard and understoo
"I" message"I" messages are a way of saying how you feel without attacking or blaming. "I" messages help to de-escalate conflicts and facilitate constructive dialogue and problem-solving.
Win Win situation Win-win resolutions of conflicts are those in which the needs of all parties are satisfied. They stand in contrast to win-lose resolutions, in which a conflict is seen as a zero-sum game where one party's gain is another's loss. To arrive at a win-win resolution requires clear communication and collaborative negotiation.
Communication skills Communication skills encompass a variety of strategies and techniques that aid interpersonal interaction. Using good communication skills is not a matter of simply being "nice." Rather, communicating well facilitates information-sharing, perspective-taking, and genuine understanding. When communication flows well, conflict is more likely to be resolved in a collaborative fashion, rather than escalating to destructive levels
"I feel.." sentencesTell how you feel. Follow "I feel" with a feeling word: "I feel disappointed"
"When you.." sentences Tell what caused the feeling. "I feel disappointed when you cancel our plans at the last minute."
"Because" sentences I" messages can include a fourth part, a "because" section: "I feel disappointed when you cancel our plans at the last minute because then I'm left on my own, and it's too late to plan something else. I want you to let me know earlier if you can't make it." Caution: It's easy to add blame to the "because" statement
collaborative negotiations When people negotiate their conflicts collaboratively, they use these four main steps: is to first pick a good time and place, second talk it out, third Brainstorm for solutions and lastly choose a solution
"I want..." sentences Tell what you want to happen: "I feel disappointed when you cancel our plans at the last minute. I want you to let me know earlier if you can't make it."
poor communications Poor communication is a key factor in destructive conflict. Accusatory statements, defensive or inflammatory language, and unwillingness to listen can provoke conflicts and fuel them once they are underway. On the other hand, when there is good communication, conflicts can be resolved peacefully, collaboratively, and without rancor. Like other social skills, communication skills can be taught and learned, and they improve with practice
DiscussFigure out both sides of the stories to see what is wrong with each other to find a good solution that makes both parties happy
source:http://www.thirteen.org
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