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Simpsons Quotes

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Updated 2009-03-12 00:14

Simpsons Quotes

QuoteCharacter
Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.Chief Wiggum
What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?Mr. Burns
It's not just a store - it's a Megastore! 'Mega' means 'good,' 'store' means 'thing. Homer Simpson
Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.Bart Simpson
You like Shake n' Bake. You used to put it in your coffee.Marge Simpson
Someone please, give me a job. I lowered my quote to $8 million. I do nude scene, I play nerd. Don't make me punch your throat! Ranier Wolfcastle (Mcbain)
Oh Dear, I've been RE-DORKULATED! Professor Frink
oh my god i killed wilson! looks like it's back to jail for me!Tim Allen (spoof)
Please do not offer my god a peanut. Apu
See you in hell, dinner plate! Homer Simpson
Mrs. Simpson, I--I cannot go there. That is the scene of my spiritual depantsing. Apu
This is the worst thing you've ever done. Marge Simpson
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff. Moe
When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar. Ralph
Scientists say they're also less attractive physically and while we speak in a well-educated manner, they tend to use low-brow expressions like 'oh yeah?' and 'com'ere a minute.'Kent Brockman
Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every day.Hans Moleman
I don't know, my Dad's a pretty big wheel down at the cracker factory.Milhouse
If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time.Lisa Simpson
History's like an amusement park. Except instead of rides you have dates to memorize. Marge Simpson
If I weren't so afraid of clowns, I'd give you a big hug. Jay Leno (as himself)
Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?Barney Gumble
The watchdog of public safety, is there any lower form of life?Mr. Burns
With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!Homer Simpson
Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with digging up a corpse?Mayor Quimby
Woah, slow down there maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?Mr. Burns
Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. Abe Simpson
This candy is subpar. Any religion that embraces carob is not for ..Carl Carlson
I stand by my racial slurs.Mayor Quimby
memorize

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