Acres of diamonds

rajelogo's version from 2016-01-28 23:25


There was a man living in Pennsylvania, not unlike SOME
Pennsylvanians you have seen, who owned a farm, and he did with that
farm just what I SHOULD ​with a farm if i OWNED ​one in Pennsylvania he
sold it.


But BEFORE ​he sold it he decided to secure employment
collecting COAL­OIL ​for his cousin, who was in the business in
CANADA​, where they FIRST​discovered OIL​on this continent.


They DIPPED ​it from the running streams at that early TIME​. So this
PENNSYLVANIA ​farmer wrote to his cousin asking for employment.


You see, FRIENDS,​this farmer was not ALTOGETHER​a foolish man.
NO​, he was not. He did not LEAVE ​his farm until he had something
ELSE ​to do.


Of ALL ​the simpletons the stars shine on i don’t know of a
WORSE ​one than the man who leaves one job BEFORE ​he has gotten
another. That has ESPECIAL ​reference to my profession, and has NO
reference whatever to a man seeking a divorce.


When he wrote to his
COUSIN ​for employment, his cousin replied,
“I CANNOT ​engage you
because you know NOTHING ​about the oil business.” Well, then the
“I WILL ​know,
” and with the MOST
commendable ZEAL ​he SAT ​himself at the study of the WHOLE


  He began AWAY​ back at the SECOND day of God’s creation
when this world was covered THICK ​and DEEP​with that rich vegetation
which SINCE​has turned to the PRIMITIVE ​beds of coal.


  He studied the subject until he found that the drainings REALLY​ of those rich beds of
coal FURNISHED ​the coal ­oil that was WORTH ​pumping, and THEN
found how it came up with the living SPRINGS​.


  He studied UNTIL ​he
KNEW​ what it LOOKED ​like, SMELLED ​like, TASTED ​like, and how
to REFINE ​it. NOW ​said he in his letter to his cousin,


“I UNDERSTAND ​the oil business.” His cousin answered,
“All right, come on.”